The holidays bring families together in a way that few other times of the year can. Between shared meals, warm traditions, and catching up on life updates, this season also creates a rare opportunity to check in on the important things—like how your loved ones want their medical and end-of-life decisions handled.
Even if the topic feels uncomfortable at first, having these conversations before a crisis ensures that your family knows each other’s wishes and can act confidently if the unexpected happens. The truth is, advance directives, healthcare surrogate designations, and end-of-life preferences are only effective when the right people understand them.
Here are five meaningful questions you can gently ask your family during the holidays to help clarify and protect their wishes.
An advance directive (often called a living will) outlines your preferences for medical care if you’re unable to express them. Many people have one… somewhere.
Maybe it’s in a filing cabinet. Maybe it’s with an attorney. Maybe it was signed 15 years ago and doesn’t reflect current wishes.
This simple question helps families:
If someone doesn’t have an advance directive, the holidays are a good time to gently recommend creating one.
A healthcare surrogate (also called a healthcare proxy or medical power of attorney) is the person authorized to make medical decisions if you cannot.
It’s essential to ask:
Without a designated surrogate, Florida law will choose a decision-maker for you, which may not align with your wishes or family dynamics.
Holidays—when everyone is together—offer a respectful space to clarify the “who” and the “why” behind these decisions.
This can be the hardest question, but also the most important.
Ask your loved ones what they prefer regarding:
These discussions help avoid confusion, guilt, or disagreement during emergencies. When families know the patient’s wishes, they’re far more confident and unified in making decisions.
End-of-life choices are deeply personal, and many people have stronger feelings than their family realizes. Questions you can ask include:
These conversations ensure dignity, respect, and alignment with the individual’s values—and prevent difficult decisions from falling entirely on loved ones in moments of shock or grief.
Even the clearest preferences can become complicated if no one knows where the paperwork is—or if it hasn’t been updated.
Encourage your family to confirm:
In the age of digital records, it may even be helpful to store documents online in a secure, easily accessible place.
Holiday conversations about healthcare and end-of-life choices don’t have to be gloomy—they can be a gift of clarity, comfort, and peace of mind. By asking these five questions, you help your loved ones stay in control of their medical decisions, reduce uncertainty for the family, and ensure everyone is prepared for whatever the future brings.
If you or your family need help preparing advance directives, healthcare surrogate designations, or any part of your estate plan, our office is here to guide you with care and clarity.
